A year ago tonight I sat upstairs at my parents house, cuddling the dog so she wouldn't be afraid of the fireworks. A year ago today I was texting Tanner as it got closer and closer to midnight. He actually wanted to come over and spend the holiday with me, but we decided against it. At that point we were just friends, and I had no idea that in about a week's time we would share our first kiss. I had no idea that almost two months later, I would be engaged. I had no idea that by midnight of 2015, I would be sitting in my apartment next to my husband, with our dog snuggled up by our feet.
2015 was quite the year. One of my favorite things to do when the time comes is to look back on the past year and see how different everything has become. This year, however, was especially crazy. So many things have happened in such a short time that it doesn't seem possible for it all to have happened in a year! And yet, somehow, it all did. And we miraculously survived it all, too!
I honestly can't believe how extremely blessed I have been this year. I married my sweetheart, gained an absolutely incredible new family, and have grown in so many ways. I think that the person I was at the beginning of the year would be proud of who I am now, and that's comforting. I don't feel that this year was a year of digression for me. It was a year of fantastic progress! I have become so much more independent! I have learned what it means to put someone else's needs ahead of mine, and I have learned just how enjoyable it is to take care of someone. I really believe I was born to be a wife and (someday) a mother. Tanner has brought out a strength in me I didn't know I had, and he has helped me grow and become someone I needed to be. I hope I have had the same effect on him.
This year also brought along difficult challenges. Learning to live with someone so completely different from you takes a lot of compromising and giving when you don't really want to. I never realized how selfish I was until I got married, which is rough. I've cried more this year than I have in many years past. I've had to learn that sometimes you're wrong, and you need to accept it. And I've also learned that sometimes you need to realize that neither of you will win, and the sooner you kiss and make up, the better. I've discovered that you can't be passive about something important to you- even though you're married now, you still need to stick up for yourself. You are still important.
All in all, 2015 was kind of a mess. But it was such a beautiful one.