For the past three weeks, I have been more stressed and panicky than I've ever been in regards to a dance. This wasn't just any dance. This was PROM. The morning was spent in a nervous haze, dashing to and fro, going to stores in search of just the perfect detail, etc. I was scared to death, but excited as well. This was going to be so awesome!
As the day wore on, I got my nails done, panicked some more, and got the rest of my dress back from the seamstress. I was ready! Except for one little thing: I still needed a clutch to hold my little necessities, and a necklace. We were going to borrow them from my mom's friend's little sister (so in other words, a total stranger), and she was still at school, being a good girl and not answering my text. Finally, around 3:45, she answered and said I could pop right over to fetch my desired accessories. I was really stressing out, and to make matters worse, I had to pick up the clutch and necklace in the Smoke Wagon.
The Smoke Wagon is so named because of the atrocious stench within it's Canadian walls, but that's not the worst part: aside from having various mechanical problems, the Smoke Wagon has no AC. So here I was, still in the preliminary stages of Prom Prep, and I had to drive the Smoke Wagon in the heat. Oh heavens.
As I drove, I fought to keep my temper under control- when I'm stressed, I become somewhat of a @#$%&. Sad, but true. So I rage-drove to her house, and when I knocked on her door, nobody answered. I rang the doorbell. Nothing. I walked back to the car, called my mom, and asked her to text the girl to let her know I was here. I didn't have her number, so this was important. This time she answered, handed me her things, and wished me luck. I drove as fast as legally possible, and got back home in record time. I flung myself down onto the chair in the bathroom, and let Mom work her magic on my hair. Trying my best not to make snippy remarks, I did my makeup and tried to tune everybody out. Suddenly, I was finished! With mere minutes to spare, I finished my eyes and tried not to shake. Then my date called. My mom answered, and after a brief conversation, said goodbye.
The doorbell rang. My heart leapt. It was a neighbor. I relaxed. The doorbell rang. My stomach squeezed. It was Geneal's friend. Things got relatively quiet, and my Dad readied his shotgun to greet my date at the door, and then everything took a turn for the worse.
Then he got there. I heard my Dad answer the door and welcome him in. I figured he would just wait on the couch for me, but he headed straight for my bedroom, and as soon as he saw me walking out, enveloped me in a hug. I really, really needed that, because I was so frazzled. I pulled back, and saw something horrible. I had gotten LIPSTICK on his SUIT. Why me??!?!?!?!?! I ducked into the living room, hoping it would magically disappear, but that was not to be. My parents, of course, noticed, and gave him a tissue so he could try to wipe it off. My face on fire, I sat down on the couch and provided an envelope that Ryan had dropped by earlier with a weird message on the front. Inside was directions to everything, so we chuckled and put them back in the envelope. Then came the part I was dreading. The boutonniere. I canNOT do those things. It's so embarrassing! I tried weakly to do it, and then gave up. My mother fixed it. Thankfully, he laughed it off and said, "Moms are pretty much always better at anything, right?" I agreed, and then we had the ceremonial pictures taken of us.
For the record, yes, he looked mind-blowingly adorable. And that's actually the boutonniere box in the picture, because he forgot the corsage at his house- we'd just retrieve it later.
We went downstairs so Nana could meet him, she gave us her stamp of approval, and we were off like a Roman candle!
We chatted and made small talk as he drove, and pretty soon we were (supposedly) at our destination. Which was a house. Then I realized that I sucked, because I'd jumped the gun and led us to the right place at the wrong time. We called Ryan, who was of no help at all, and then we set off once again to find the correct destination. We missed the turnoff a few times, but finally we got there. Everyone else had already arrived, and so they glared at us menacingly. I defended our position by telling them what happened back at home, and how it held us up- because it did. Guess what?
Nobody believed us. Uh, hello? Why would I joke about that? I brushed their disbelief aside and we headed over to the park to take pictures. It was actually really fun! Aside from walking around in high heels in the gravel, of course.
After pictures, we headed over to Charleston's to have dinner. When we got there to request seating, a hostess came up to my gentleman and handed him a box. He turned to me and gave me my corsage! It was beautiful, and I loved that he gave it to me there. It was a stylish touch. :^) The wait was long, and by the time we were seated, Prom had started 30 minutes ago. :^( We hurried through dinner, and then jetted off to the dance.
While we were there, I found out that we had craptastic DJ's who only played fast, bad songs and dubstep (which you can't even dance to, btw), with the occasional slow song thrown into the mix. We decided to get in line for pictures, and after discovering how pointlessly long the wait was, headed back inside. We danced to a slow song, and I noticed something weird. My date started out dancing with me in closed dance position, but then moved so we were lightly holding hands while dancing, and pretty soon we just kind of swayed, not really touching anymore. Then the song ended, and we went back to awkwardly dancing to the crappy fast music. We made the necessary rounds, hugging people and telling them how wonderful they looked- which they did. Everyone looked like a star- and went back to awkwardly dancing. We even photobombed a picture!
After that, Prom royalty was announced, and we headed back to the hallway so we could wait for pictures without the huge line. Just my luck- of course Prom royalty had to dance a slow song, and since we were in the hallway, there was no slow dancing for us, which, frankly, bummed me out. I wanted to dance with him! Geez!
We went back in after deciding the wait was stupid, and he went to get a fancy drink. I got some water, and then another slow song started. Hurray! I would get to dance with him at last!
Just kidding. He came up to me and asked if it would be okay to dance with another girl for this song. I said okay, and watched from the sidelines while holding his drink to make sure it wouldn't be discarded. I thought that maybe the same weird thing would happen, where he'd slowly let go of her, but nope. They waltzed all over the dance floor, doing tricks and spinning, and having a grand old time. I felt a twinge of sadness, because I really wanted that to be me in his arms being twirled around the room, but I couldn't do anything about it. I sat dejectedly in the corner, holding his drink. When the song ended, he found me again and I handed him his drink, and we chatted while he sipped at it.
We got in line once again for pictures, and finally got some taken! We got back into the fray, and danced to the crappy music some more. We had just started dancing the bachata when someone from student council dragged him away for more pictures. I started talking to a girl and mentioned how I wished they would play more slow songs. She started laughing and said, "Just so you can dance with your date?"
Well, yeah. He's my date, and this is Prom. You're supposed to dance at Prom. It's not because he's the cutest guy in school, it's not because I want to make people jealous, it's not because I have this huge crush on him-because I don't-I just want to dance with him to see if he'll actually touch me this time. I want to be danced with. I want him to tell me I'm beautiful, because I did all this work for him. I want him to really touch me, not just put his arm around me flirtatiously and then back off as soon as someone starts talking to him. I said this in my head, but just smiled, and said, "Well yeah! He's my date!" I started walking up to the DJ's to let them know, but just then my date showed up from getting pictures taken. A slow song started, and we began dancing.
He held me close, and we swayed to the music. THIS was what I'd been waiting for. THIS was what I wanted. I was finally having a dance with him, when he said, "Do you mind if I cut in with her for a little bit?" I looked over and noticed a girl was on the sidelines, while her date spun someone else on the floor. She wasn't sad, she was smiling, because even though her date was dancing with someone else, it was obvious that he'd been spending time with her, and no doubt he'd made her feel beautiful- which is what every girl deserves. Every girl spends countless hours preparing for this dance, and they need to feel appreciated and beautiful when the moment finally comes and they reveal their dress and their hair and their makeup to be judged by the boy and everyone else. But I digress. I said okay, and he twirled me away from him and began dancing with her. I stood all alone by a table, and watched as everyone danced with their dates.
The same girl I'd been talking to previously came up and said, "I loaned my date to somebody". Smiling, she turned to me, as if asking where my date was. I smiled half-heartedly, and she said quietly, "did your date loan himself?" I nodded and looked at my shoes. I began to realize that he hadn't hardly touched or danced with me at all the whole time we were at the dance, and once the realization hit, I felt downright awful. I looked at her and said, "We should ask for one more slow song, because I heard someone say this was the last slow dance." We went up to the DJ's and asked for one more slow song. the DJ looked at me and said
"No, we've got two minutes left- and we've got a song lined up already. Why, you want a slow song?"
Not even hiding my irritation, I said, "Well, yeah. You guys have played, like four slow songs this whole freaking time. It's the last song! I want to dance!" He shrugged and turned back to his table.
Mentally kicking him, I walked away. With a screech, the last song began to play. The last song. I couldn't believe it. Prom was over, and I hadn't danced a full song with my date. My heart sunk down to my shoes, and as he approached, I tried to smile. He said we could try to slow dance to this last song even though it was fast, and so we did. For approximately 30 seconds. Then he asked if I wanted to find our group, so I said sure, and we found them. Obviously nobody was slow dancing, so we stopped and stood in a circle the rest of the song.
Then it ended, and we left. We sang "I Won't Say I'm in Love" on the way to the car for some reason, and then said goodbye to our group. We got in the car, and he said, "I feel kinda bad for ditching you on the last slow song," and I laughed weakly. I made sure not to say "It's okay", because it wasn't. He hadn't danced with me all the way through for a single song. He didn't touch me hardly at all. He never said I looked beautiful. He told other girls they looked nice, but he never said anything to me. My heart plummeted. Why wasn't I good enough for him? What did I do to merit this? I thought I looked okay, why didn't he say anything? Why wouldn't he touch me? Why, why, why? All the girls who'd talked to me about it all said the same thing: he's the best date, he'll dance with you for like every song, he'll stay by your side the whole time, blah blah blah. Why was I the exception? Why would he do that to me? Why wasn't I good enough for him?
I kept these thoughts in my head the whole way home, and we made more small talk. We talked about the play, and being a lead character in it, and other things, but my heart still hurt. To add on to everything, I was worried about Nana, and I was embarrassed about getting lipstick on his suit and leading us the wrong way when we were supposed to be at the park, and I was really embarrassed about having made such a huge deal about everything for three weeks.
But I never said anything about this. He had a good time I think, and if he's happy, I'm happy-ish.
He walked me to the door and hugged me, and I apologized once again for the terrible navigating job. He said, "Haeley, I've already totally forgotten that! Don't worry! The directions were dumb, it's not your fault", then he hugged me again. That made we feel a little better, and I thanked him again for asking me, and went inside. My parents had waited up for me, and I told them my story. I went in my room and fell apart after that. Prom is supposed to be special, so why was I crying? I was tired, I was worried, I was embarrassed, I was crushed.
I sent one of my friends a picture of my date and I, and eventually explained everything to her. It felt good to vent, and it felt good to have someone listen. I went to bed and tried to sleep, but I couldn't. I still hurt.
The next day I had to explain everything to my siblings, and I had to try very hard not to cry. When I told Geneal though, I lost it. I just cried and cried, and she listened sympathetically. I really have the best people on earth surrounding me and loving me. Everyone has been so kind and caring to me, and I really appreciate it. Sorry this story ends sadly, but I figured I needed to write down everything. I feel better now, now that I know that most of my emotions have stemmed from lack of sleep and menstruation, and I understand that he's is a popular boy, and popular boys need to tend to their flock of followers, so he did. He just forgot to tend to his date sometimes.
Overall, I did have an enjoyable time, and even though the dance itself was lackluster, I've decided it's because he's popular, and popular people wear masks around multiple people.
I'll post more pictures soon!
Thanks for reading,