02 03 The Rhineheart Roost: The story of how I didn't go stag. 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33

The story of how I didn't go stag.

I'm a weird girl. You, of all readers, should know that by now, so you should know that I tend to be very opinionated when it comes to certain things. Like dances. Para exemplar, if you're going to a dance, you need a date. It's just a given, folks. You can't just go by yourself and watch other people have the time of their lives while you're standing around in tight shoes, drinking punch to pass the time, and feeling awkward. At least, I can't. I have an over-romanticized way of seeing the world, and even if I don't have a crush on the kid, I still like being in a boy's arms, even if just for a few minutes at a time. Doesn't every sane girl? 
I tried to move fast, but every time I asked (or attempted to ask) a guy, they simply couldn't! I received my latest rejection right after I bought my lovely dress, and, free spirit that I am, I refused to let my dress go to waste! I WOULD have a date, by golly, and he would be darn handsome! So I hatched a plan. I would take a guy who simply couldn't say no. A guy who would be absolutely speechless when I asked him to go with me. A guy who was practically perfect in every way. A guy like Ken Carson. I've known Ken for quite some time now, and when I met him again in WalMart on a Saturday night, I knew I had to do it. So I asked, and he ended up coming home with me! He had a tuxedo ready to go, and I figured everything would go according to plan.
And boy howdy, did it.
I felt like an absolute PRINCESS! I honestly do not think I've ever looked more beautiful to a dance than I did last night- my dress was flawless, my makeup turned out SO GOOD, (seriously guys. It. was. Perfection.) my hair was cute and simple, and I had killer shoes. Add self-confidence and sparkly earrings, and I was a knockout! 

My corsage was a baby headband!! :^O

The only thing that could have made this night better is if Ken was human.

But that's okay! It turned out better than expected. I got so many comments, compliments, funny looks, and giggles that it totally made my night! My pal Draven said, 
"You know, Haeley, I'm pretty sure nobody has ever thought of something like that before. Only you! I respect that!" Which, when you think of it, is totally true! I've never known of anyone who took a Ken doll to a dance in lieu of a date with flesh and bones. Just me! I like it that way. Being original is what makes me who I am, and I'll be spunky, and original, and wild and fancy-free until my last day on earth!
Now I know what you're thinking: Haeley, this is great and all, but did you actually dance with this plastic dude? The answer is yes!
And you're probably curious as to if I danced with any dapper young gentlemen who possessed a pulse, and the answer is also yes! 6 different boys, to be exact! And the best part is I didn't have to ask a single boy to dance. Ha! They all asked me! That makes me sooo happy, y'all. I think Ken made them jealous. ;^)
Fun little tidbit: I had to go tinkle at one point, and while I was in the powder room, all the boys got in the annual dance-off, including, you guessed it, my Kenny Kins! Somebody spun him out onto the dance floor, and the boys all got into making him dance. Subsequently, he totally dominated the dance-off. He won, in fact! Wow! That's my man! :^D
I apparently inspire people, as well! Marissa Henderson came up to me and told me how funny it would be to have a group of girls come with plastic dates sometime! It was a proud moment for me. 
The awesome thing is, I'm the one who came up with this! There's hope for me after all.
Some more pictures of my dad interviewing my handsome young gentleman caller:

Me, comforting my guy after the scary meet-the-dad talk.

So, yeah! That was my night in a nutshell. 
P.S. Lexi, I get a picture in the yearbook, right?? :^)


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