02 03 The Rhineheart Roost: So this is what insanity feels like... 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33

So this is what insanity feels like...

I know I asked him only yesterday, but it feels like last week! And I know it's Sunday, but Sadies is this week! I shouldn't be freaking out this much, but I am, obviously. Nothing is keeping me calm! Maybe I need a tranquilizer gun aimed at my face or something... Gah!
I dreamt last night that what he did for his reply was write in HUGE chalk letters "Yes, Haeley! -Chandler" all down the brick wall across the street from me so when I walked out in the morning, I could see it in all its chalky splendor.  The sad thing was, in my dream, as soon as he finished, it rained- removing almost all traces of his work. Which was a crying shame, because in my dream, he'd gotten up in the middle of the night just to do that for me, and it took about three hours to do. So depressing, right? But all was not lost. He also cut out a bunch of circles of paper and wrote things he liked about me and taped them in the trunk of my car. Sweet, sweet, sweet.
In reality, I'm not expecting much. Perhaps a text saying "yeah", or maybe a letter taped to my door. But HOW he replies doesn't really matter, as long as he actually REPLIES. Hopefully with a resounding "yes!"
I feel like such a dope. I feel like I'm pressuring him into this, when I really shouldn't be freaking out- it's just ONE MEASLY DATE, so I don't see the reason to be hyperventilating. Maybe because it would probably be his first date-
What if he doesn't want to go out with me, and feels obligated to go just to be nice? What if he's allergic to ice skates? What if he already has a date planned that night? What if he can't stay out the whole time because he has school in the morning? What if his great aunt Clarice dies and has her funeral from 8-11 pm that night? What if he thinks I have an incurable crush on him, and only asked him out so I could stare creepily into his eyes all evening?
In reality, he probably is a little weirded out, but is also slightly excited to go out on his first date. Maybe he even wanted to go out with me in the first place, and I just made his job easier by asking him outright! Maybe my peace offering of brownies (with chocolate chips) made him realize just how bodacious of a babe I am! Maybe he realized I'm quite the hot dish!
I'm exaggerating, of course.
Isn't it exhausting reading this?
Count yourself lucky you aren't stuck with my brain, because this is what's been running through my head ALL FREAKING DAY.
To make matters worse, we got to church late today, and had to sit in the back in the metal chairs. This wouldn't have been stressful, however, Chandler's family decided to conveniently plant themselves right in front of us. I began hyperventilating. Then I noticed Chandler wasn't with them- he was up in the stand! My thoughts began racing.  
He couldn't be giving a talk, could he? It's fast Sunday (stake conference next week, you know how it is). Why is he up there?? If he is giving a talk, that means I'm obligated to look at him. I'm blushing hard enough already with his family just sitting in front of me. I'm just glad we got here late enough that he didn't pass us our program. I would have died on the spot. Oh my word, oh my word, oh my word. Oh- he's only up there so Bishop can announce that he's been ordained a Priest. Whew. Oh, crud. That means he is coming to sit in the audience. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!! NOOO.
Thankfully for my sanity, he sat to the far right, in the last open chair available. Still, having my potential date sitting in such close proximity to me unnerved me just a bit. The meeting went well until Lincoln had to go to the bathroom. I got the task of escorting him to the restroom, and on our way out I tripped on my shoe and wobbled a bit. This wouldn't have been too bad, but Chandler was sitting RIGHT NEXT TO THE DOOR I WAS EXITING. So he probably totally saw me tripping. Ugh, how mortifying. I survived, however, and returned to my seat eventually. He passed me a few times in the halls, but since I'm a social butterfly, I was chatting with my beloved Courtney both times, and was not obligated to make eye contact with him. Whew.
I really hope he says yes.



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