Maybe my vocal chords are secretly my evil twin.
An evil MALE twin.
Why male? Because no self-respecting evil sister would attack my vocal chords. She'd attack my face, or maybe my feet (because of, you know, high heels), but never MY VOICE. Maybe my evil voice-twin living in my throat thinks we're Ariel, and losing/destroying our voice is a one-way ticket to Prince Eric, but newsflash:
No. Prince Eric is fake.
Therefore, making my voice sound tone-deaf and stupidly stupid is just making me mad.
What's horrible-er? I always seem to have an icky-singing day when I have voice lessons. I can just imagine my poor voice teacher dissolving into sobs after every lesson, throwing her hands into the air and screeching
"Why must she stink so much?! I toil with her for half an hour every other week, and she is hopeless!!"
Ms. Voice Teacher, I promise with all my being that I'm NOT trying to stink. You just seem to catch me on bad days, is all.
Ugh. It makes me sad that I get colds so darn often, making me sound like a tine-deaf wannabe popstar.