02 03 The Rhineheart Roost: An open letter to: my research paper. 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33

An open letter to: my research paper.

This isn't working out. I thought things would work out in a different way when we started, but things have grown more and more uncomfortable as it has worn on. You aren't upholding your part of this relationship. I've done everything in my power to make you the best you can be, and you sit there, useless as a piece of paper. Please excuse the harsh feelings; it's not you, it's me.
Actually, no. It is you. You do not understand the heck I have been through: researching, worrying, and brainstorming, and still you bear no fruit. You may say I'm lazy, but what have you got to show for it? Nothing. You are a zero, literally. In life, so far, you are getting an F. In fact, when we are officially through, I will probably have a burning ceremony and I might just dance around your grave in an Indian head-dress. So, unless you want to spend the rest of your days in a sewer pipe, I suggest you start putting results out pronto.
Oh, and remind Google to stop being dumb, okay? While we are having dark times, I see a glimmer of hope yet in that ol' search engine.

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