Low self esteem.... There's nothing like it. Thankfully. I've been suffering a particularly nasty bout of it lately, and I would absolutely adore it if the "lowsies" would just disappear, because feeling awesome is the best thing ever. I suppose this'll pass, but I figured I may as well document it for posterity, so I can tell my kids that I, too, am human. Anyway... I'm not cool. I think that's pretty much a known fact about me, that I am not a "cool" person. I'm just weird. It's okay, I understand. I realized a long time ago that I was weird, and I used to be okay with that, and I embraced it, but it just seems that I'm the only one embracing my oddities (is that a word?). Sigh.... But this is beside the point. You see, I've always had a little fantasy of making it big in music, by using my vocal talents and kick-butt sense of... whatever. But the more I think about it, the less and less it seems that I'll ever make it. I don't even know how to put music to the songs I've written, so how could I ever record them? Oh, sure, I could learn, but recording costs money, doesn't it? I don't have that money right now, and it's depressing. I want to take a bite out of life and make a mark on it, but I don't think I can ever become a singing sensation. Ugh... Which is a total bummer, because I also have the sweet "I can do this!" days, but reality isn't always so kind. One of these days, maybe I'll do an open mic night or something and a talent scout will be there, and then he'll be swept off his feet my my pipes, and then I'll get a record deal and move up to the number-one hit single list in iTunes. But until then, I'm stuck dreaming.