Have you heard the tale of Snow White and the dwarves seven?
It ends much differently than you’d imagine.
Don’t look confused, it all smoothes out!
But it’s mixed up, without a doubt.
So here we start, with a young babe and her mum:
Dear old momsie dying, and little Snow still dumb.
A few years later, the princess’s pop
Up and marries! And doesn’t stop
To think “Oh, she’s a witch”
Or even notice that odd little twitch
She gets when she sees the girl walking gaily through the halls
Leaping and bounding around the castle walls.
Snow White soon grows and is so pretty
The step-mom starts wallowing in self pity.
And formulates a most evil plan,
One only foiled by the approach of a man
Who would be her true love (prob’ly in a handsome suit)
And she thought “Ah ha! I shall poison her fruit!
But first must send her away in the forest
To… train her to be a florist!
Yes, that’s what I’ll say. And then all too soon she’ll be carried away
Into the woods and her nerves will slowly fray
Until I relieve her of her misery with a poisoned apple.”
These thoughts in her head, she now had to grapple
The girl by the arm, and using some sickly sweet charm,
She sent her in the direction of a faraway farm,
Where she got lost in the dark, when all the sudden
A friendly old lark pointed the way to a safe little cottage.
Imagine her surprise when she happened upon seven little men!
The dwarves, we’ll call them, were pleased to have her in their den,
And she soon set up housekeeping.
Back at the castle the queen stood there weeping,
For her idea was ruined! But- gasp- could it be?
The poisoned apples were just beginning to fall from the tree,
So she picked them up with haste and went on her way
To kill poor Snowy, and make her day!
As an old woman, the queen made Snow bite
The apple, and she soon couldn’t fight
Her drowsiness and fell into a heap.
The queen, who’s brain was very cheap,
Soon bit into the apple as well,
And almost immediately she fell.
The dwarves were shocked- oh my!
When a handsome prince came riding by,
And saw the beautiful girl on the floor.
He bent and kissed her, once, twice more,
But nothing happened. And then to everyone’s surprise,
The smallest dwarf came forward to claim his prize,
By planting one on her, fair and square,
And the princess came to right there!
The dwarf was her love, and as the story goes, they say,
The dwarf and the princess were married that day.
And for the wedding feast, do you know what they ate?A nice, big fat piece of old queen cake.
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