Okay, total post reconstruction. No, you haven't seen it already, but I just felt obligated to say it. I'm just weird, okay? But- you knew that!!!! Moving on. As I was writing this post for the first time, I was thinking about my friends, and how shockingly lucky I was to have stumbled somewhat clumsily into them. I'll still post about that, but perhaps not as stupid and cheesy- sounding as my first attempt was. Sound good? Good. Glad we're on the same page. We've all heard the quotes- "Best friends are hard to find, and harder to keep", or maybe "Friends are like four-leafed-clovers. Hard to find, lucky to have!" Crap like that. Is friendship really that hard? Is it that much of a challenge to find someone who understands and likes to be with you? For me, it has always seemed relatively easy. How I found my friends: I was myself. How I have kept my friends: I am still myself. I mean, I've changed some things, but their so microscopic that I would have changed eventually. It really isn't difficult, is it? Am I just crazy, or do my friends just feel so bad for me that... nevermind. I have different "brands" of friends I guess... I have A friend who takes me to Wal-Mart. Oh, boy. When we go to Wal-Mart... Let's just say things happen. We cause excitement. Haha. I have a friend who brings the little kid out in me. Like flying plastic bag kites in the rain. And making those melty bead things. I'm serious. It's nice to be able to rewind my life for an afternoon. And I love having sleepovers, and having long and serious talks, and goofing off. One drawback, however, is that I can never remember how I met my friends, and I want to. I remember one of them, but I won't tell right now...All I'll tell you is it involved a late night, nose plugging, and smooching citrus. I kid you not. Maybe I'll tell the full story later... with permission of course. :DDD I have another friend that is a mixture of pretty much everything, but she doesn't go to Wally World with me. Bwahahahaha. But, she happens to give the nicest hugs known to man. ;) But, alas, there are lost friends. There is one particular that I am most depressed about. I actually anguish over this one. We were friends since preschool, and throughout the course of elementary we grew closer and closer. We never had a fight, but we were often stuck somewhere in them, between other friends we had. But, due to my incurable case of occasional extreme brattiness, I became a jerk. We slowly drifted apart, but at the time it seemed perfectly normal, nothing on the surface had been damaged, even though on the inside things were changing. Then the last straw came. I went off to junior high, and she stayed within the comforting folds of our school. Seventh grade really screwed me up, because I had become a big-headed person and when I visited I was a regular brat, filled with the ways of seventh grade, and I was so full of myself I guess I didn't realize we had drifted so much. I still considered her my best friend, but I actually was the farthest thing from. Then I stopped coming. And I realized something. It was gone. Best friend was just a lonely hope, lost somewhere in the bonds of time. I am so, so sorry. If you ever decide to read this blog and stumble upon this post, please know that I feel so sorry that I treated you the way I did. I wish almost every day I could go back and fix things. Please accept this apology, and I love you and I hope you can forgive me someday. I miss hanging out. I miss using opour lopanguopage. You know what I'm saying. I miss discussing Nouns and Verbs, and their colors. I miss you.