02 03 The Rhineheart Roost: Stealing is the STUPIDEST THING YOU CAN EVER DO!!!!!! 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33


Has this happened to you? You have something, anything of value, and you love it to death and it's STOLEN? You feel so violated. Some jerk has broken into your house (or car, or store, or anything...) and stolen some things that had meaning to you. Why do they do this? If they're looking for money, there are so many solutions to this besides the outrageously STUPID choice of stealing from another human. Do they not realize that these people have FEELINGS? Or, maybe the things stolen were of PRICELESS SENTIMENTAL VALUE, POSSIBLY FROM A DECEASED RELATIVE?DO THEY NOT REALIZE THAT THIS BEHAVIOR IS A VERY STUPID-HEAD THING TO DO?!!!!!! AGH! And, on top of that, IT'S ILLEGAL!!! DON'T STEAL! Can you tell this happened to me recently? No? Should I tell you about it?
Yes, yes I should.
It was a lovely winter day in Arizona... okay. That sounds dumb.
We were having a lazy day. Just relaxing, when I realized we'd been watching TV all day long. How lame. So I got my little sister to take a nice bike ride with me. We headed out to the backyard to fetch her bike, along with my beautiful purple five-speed. It wasn't there. Oh well, I can go to the porch, it's there, I know it!
Oh, no. No no no no no no! It's GONE! Strangely I kept a calm face, despite the sinking feeling in my stomach. I told my mom, who told her mom, and then she called around the neighborhood telling of my predicament. Now I was getting ticked. How dare they? How dare they come to my house to steal from me? They had no grounds for this! They'll probably sell it on the black market or something, which makes it worse. Oh well. I really hope that I see whoever stole it riding slowly past my house on my bike, as if taunting me. I miss it, but then I go back out and catch him the second time. I pounce on him with ninja-like awesomeness, and I beat his face in. Then I tell him off, and take my bike back, jubilant with my success.
Cool idea, don't you think?

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